On the way home, maybe around 100 miles or so from Las Vegas, the silence was broken between my mom and me.
Before that, I knew that I did fall asleep shortly after the tire blowout incident. And my mom and I were not really talking to each other. It was mostly quiet.
I was exhausted and needed to rest some more so I closed my eyes and the humming of the road numbed my thoughts. I quickly drifted into a peaceful sleep.
When I woke up, my mom began to apologize, and I do think this time she was being honest and sincere. I could see the tears in her eyes. This was a moment of honesty long overdue.
And I know that my mom had smoked a lot during my sleep because the ashtray was almost full.
As my mind began to clear we began to have a conversation about what had happened after I took the car and ran away. She looked directly at me and said, “You taking the car and driving away from me as I was running to stop you tore me apart inside.”
At that moment I felt her pain. And I wondered if she felt my pain.
After a few more minutes of silence after hearing what she said, she added, “Your new dad didn’t seem to care all that much.”
She then added, “I decided at that moment I could not be married to him and that I had made a very big mistake.”
I responded harshly with, “That man would never be my dad. He is a damn drunk. Look what he did to you, and to me!”
Again, I was brutally honest with my mom. I could no longer be that sweet boy who was always being taken advantage of. I know my comments hurt my mom, but what I had just been through I just could not care anymore.
I was still hurting inside.
As the miles passed and we got closer to Las Vegas, our conversation was becoming calmer, with more understanding and politeness. I discovered that I possessed empathy.
I knew that we had a lot to talk about and our conversations needed to be direct and respectful. This is a very difficult situation for a fourteen-year-old teenager who has just been on an emotional rollercoaster that has not yet finished.
And then I saw the gas station where I stole the gas from in the distance. I pointed it out to my mom, and she began to slow the car down. We turned in and pulled up to a pump. She asked me to put some gas in the car while she went inside.
I agreed.
My mom came back out of the store with an elderly man. I wondered if something was up.
She introduced me to the man and noted that he was the owner of the gas station. She then asked me if I had something to say to him. I hoped that I was not going to get into trouble again, maybe even get arrested.
At that moment I remembered how I felt after my junior high school fight and throwing the first punch. I knew I needed to apologize for what I had done just two days ago.
He looked at me and presented a classic western desert smile that a true cowboy would give you when meeting for the first time.
I said to the man, “I am very sorry for taking the gas without paying for it. I was wrong. Will you accept my apology?”
He said, “Your mom just explained what had happened on Friday. I accept your apology and hope that everything works out for you.”
Then my mom gave me some money, and I gave it to the man. He accepted me paying him for the gas and said, “Please come back and let me know you are doing.”
I agreed with a smile noting that I am still only fourteen years old. I said, “I will see you in two years.”
He chuckled and turned to go back inside the store.
I felt less stressed knowing that I had done right by pointing out to my mom the gas station where I had performed my act of thievery. And to once again admit my fault and make my apologies.
My mom and I got back into the car and drove away with her boyfriend still following behind us. I knew that I had done the right thing and so did my mom.
After we got home from California, my mom promised to never treat me the way that she had done while she was with the alcoholic man she married.
And she did get that annulment on Monday. That was a promise kept.
And for me a lot was about to change again in my life.
So, I ran away to California on a Friday evening, was arrested and placed in a juvenile detention center and then released both on Saturday, reconnected with my friend on Saturday night, and returned to Las Vegas on Sunday.
And I was back in school on Monday morning with one hell of a story to tell.
However, I was now considered a troubled teenager at my junior high school. And they would be closely watching me. I kept telling myself that I need to go forward to overcome this new marker and to overcome my insecurities.
This past weekend changed me in many ways. And to be honest, I was still in pain and very confused. My ability to focus was shot. And I know that this past weekend will haunt me for some time.
But a new challenge was coming, and I was very hopeful that I would succeed and be happy again. And this challenge would take a lot of physical and mental effort from me. Plus, a bit of time from my after-school hours which I am happy to devote to this challenge.
Plus, I wanted this challenge to help with the softening of the pain I was still experiencing.
Time to run…
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