So, my arm was saved. That was the good news. What I didn’t know was the challenge before me to regain the use of my arm and my fingers. And that there would be several scares along this recovery journey that could have reversed my use of the arm and if it would still be part of my body.
After about a week in the hospital I was discharged to go home. The ride home was mostly quiet and awkward with how my arm was positioned in the brace. I needed a lot of help getting into and out of the car.
There was some fanfare by the neighbors and the two girls I was friends with when I got out of the car. I didn’t know if the girl with long brown hair was still going to be my girlfriend. I hoped so. But she didn’t look like she did before the unpleasant incident. She looked sad. And yes, she did fade away as time passed.
I do think that everyone was surprised by how my arm was positioned to stick straight out in front of my chest. It was awkward for me. And it was going to be like this for at least a month, maybe longer.
I was hopeful that this arm brace would be gone before my birthday which was only about a month away. But for now, this would be my curse. And playing outside was not allowed. I had to be monitored and cared for since I could also not bend over and keep my balance.
The doctors said that I needed to start my recovery and I needed to start by trying to squeeze a little rubber ball. I remember it was red in color. I also remember thinking that this was going to be easy until the ball was put into my hand and my fingers didn’t work like they used to. This was scary.
My recent memory of playing with my toys allowed me to see my fingers bending but they were not bending now. After trying this task for a few days, my thumb finally moved a little bit. Shortly after that my other fingers began to move more than a few days ago. Progress.
The movement was very limited and what surprised me was that there was no strength in my fingers. I could lightly squeeze the ball with my fingers and my thumb, but I could not squeeze the ball as instructed. Many times, while trying to squeeze the ball it would fall out of my hand and someone would have to pick it up for me. The exciting thing for me was that each new day I found I could do a little bit more. And over time I finally was able to hold the ball without dropping it.
Within a month I was able to squeeze the ball like the doctors wanted me to. And the good news was the forward-facing brace was going to be relaxed to allow me to begin to move my arm with more down and then back up motion. I was not allowed to go side to side in motion yet. The bad news was that the brace was not coming off before my birthday.
I wanted a birthday party but there was concern that boys-will-be-boys and my arm could be accidentally moved in a wrong direction that could pull the nerve apart which would not be good. I turned ten and sat at home with no party. The girl with the shiny red hair came over and that cheered me up. We sat on the sofa and talked. She asked me questions about my arm and what it was like at the hospital. I think her freckles got to me and I knew that I liked her now.
The next month the brace was removed, and I could let my arm hang down like it would do normally. Unfortunately, this would be short lived. During my next doctor’s visit, they noticed something wasn’t right and put me back into the brace. The fear was that the nerve was separating. I was now in school and had to sit at my desk with my arm sticking straight out in front of me. But instead of being made fun of, I became the class celebrity.
By the time Thanksgiving came, the doctors took the brace back off. This time I was very careful with moving my arm. I was scared that if I did something I shouldn’t do, I would have to wear that brace again. And throughout this time, I was still squeezing that little red rubber ball. My fingers were now working, and my arm was swinging and bending like I had remembered in my dreams.
Yes, I dreamed about normal things like playing ball and riding a bike. I just wanted to be a normal boy. And every day when I woke up and I began squeezing that little red rubber ball. I always had it with me. To know that I could squeeze it gave me confidence to keep improving.
And another thing happened. I began to get that feeling back in my fingers when touching something. For the longest time my fingers were numb to the touch. I could see my finger touching something, but I couldn’t feel it like I should be feeling it. Over time each finger slowly returned to normal except for the pinky finger and the side of the ring finger that is next to the pinky finger. To this day they are still numb and tingle when I rub them.
That little red rubber ball was my best friend for more than a year, almost two years if I remember correctly. Recovering my arm and fingers did take a long time, with some scares early on, and with many successes. And I would become a normal young teenager and thrive in my outdoor activities as I grew older. During this time of recovery, I learned to never give up. And I learned that if I was told I could not do an activity because of my arm injury, I found a way to do it. I think I was the Nike kid of my day.
Just do it…
And I did…
“Follow my story for new vignettes”