We are all moved in now. From what I remember, my clothing selection was small and not well suited for the desert heat. I did have some shorts and T-shirts, and a bathing suit which was basically an old pair of shorts. It was my first full day in this new place. My mom was going through the yellow pages looking for places to grocery shop. Her boyfriend was out looking for a job. It was so hot outside that I think I was a bit anxious to leave our comfortable cool apartment house.
There was a knock at the door and my mom went to the entry vestibule. She opened the door and greeted a lady and her son. The boy was my age. They lived in the apartment complex and saw us moving in. I think they might have been curious about us since our car announced that we were from North Carolina.
My mom welcomed them to our new apartment home and they both came in. My mom introduced me to the boy, and then he and I went to my room to play. I didn’t have too many toys to play with, but the time passed quickly. I think he was more captivated by how I spoke and not having a lot of toys to play with wasn’t important. I spoke with that Western North Carolina twang. He sat and listened intently to me talk about our trip across the country and I showed him the rock that used to be a tree. Then he asked me if I wanted to go swimming.
My mom and his mom were in the living room chatting when we came out and I asked if I could go into the pool with him. Her answer was yes, but I had to stay on the steps. She told his mom that I could not swim yet. I think she was surprised.
We met outside the pool after I put on my bathing suit, and then we went to the pool together. The sun was shining brightly, and the pool water was much warmer than I thought it would be. Over time I would learn that the desert sun and heat made everything warmer. The boy was very encouraging when it came to me getting further into the water. He taught me how to dog paddle that day. I was thinking to myself that he could become my new friend. He was so friendly and so was his mom.
Our moms were sitting in lounge chairs by the pool talking about this new place. My mom started talking about our journey across the country. Then she announced to his mom that my birthday was in a week. I don’t remember the exact conversation, but I do remember that his mom said that we needed to have a party, and she would help put that together.
I later learned that my new friend and his mom made and delivered invitations to the various kids in the apartment complex announcing my birthday party. She also told my mom she would take care of the cake and refreshments since we were new to the city. My mom said she could help make the cake. His mom replied that that would not be necessary. She was going to go to the bakery and have them make it. I think that from my mom’s facial expression, that this was something I think my mom was not expecting. A bakery!
The day of my birthday came, and it was a pool party with many kids and many families. This was the biggest birthday party I have ever had. And the cake was amazing. I still remember the chocolate icing. Oh, and we had vanilla ice cream with the cake. Of course, the ice cream melted very quickly. And the party didn’t stop with swimming and cake in the afternoon; the party continued into the evening with hot dogs and hamburgers.
I guess you could say that this was a welcome to our city party too. I think that my mom, her boyfriend, and I were so surprised with this outpouring of neighborly friendship. We met my new friend’s dad and my new friend’s older brother and his friends. We also learned that my new friend’s family was Jewish.
Okay, keep in mind that we have just moved from Western North Carolina, and that this new desert culture we now live among is incredibly diverse from our perspective for this time in the nineteen-sixties. I think my mom and her boyfriend were very surprised to hear that my new friend’s family was Jewish. But his family were so nice and friendly to us, and they were so giving without wanting anything back. This knowledge did not have an impact on me until I heard my mom and her boyfriend talking in the kitchen later that night.
So, my mom and her boyfriend were talking in the kitchen about my new friend’s family, and I heard my mom say to her boyfriend, “they don’t have horns”. Okay, I was curious and surprised to hear this comment from my mom. What was she talking about? I would not fully understand this comment until later in my early teenage years when my mom and her mom were having a conversation about our time in Phoenix. Well, it seems that during the nineteen-fifties and nineteen-sixties in Western North Carolina any references to Jewish people included commentary about “horns” being one way to identify a person who was of that belief.
For me as an adult, I am now glad that I was not raised in an environment that categorized other people and their beliefs by assumed body parts that do not exist. I think that I have always believed that we are equally human and any unique characteristics we may have only enrich our lives and the world.
My new friend and his family became our closest second family over time. We did so much together that I was super happy that we moved to Arizona. And… I think that moving to Arizona helped educate my mom and her boyfriend about learning to understand that there is so much more to the world, or at least in the western part of the country, than what they grew up learning about from that Western North Carolina culture.
Since I was still young, this understanding would just be part of how I would grow and evolve into a preteen and teen when those times would come. I no longer saw color and faith as a way to speak badly about anyone. I saw diverse people as avenues to discover more about their history and their culture, about what makes them unique. This is what I believe that living with diversity is all about.
Oh, and someone being Jewish would become a much bigger part of my life in my adult years…
“Follow my story for new vignettes”